blog

jt

2009-05-10T21:27:00.002+05:30

dream

2009-04-10T21:24:00.005+05:30

Its been long time since i wrote anything here.

life didnt allow me to write thats the write explanations. nothing much happened to me other than another birthday passed.. yeah, i am 33 now. 33 doesnt mean much to me.. am still the same crazy old fellow. nothing much changed in me. is still have this un controlleble urge to travel, take photographs. and am doing it. for quiet some time . you can see my pictures here ( http://silentyogi.com )

my crazy mind is still crazy. am still alone..

i desperatly needed some friendship, i needed some one to share my feelings, My dreams. i wanted to show my pictures, i wanted to see this world with that person. but then no one is there. i am happy to be alone. but at times i need company. i need a person to hold on to.

some one asked me.

2008-12-01T15:28:00.003+05:30

its been long time since i wrote anything here, am going through this some kind of weird time period of my life it seems.. i can concentrate on anything.. mind is just wandering here and there. cant think of better days. is it another attack of depression. or It can be my medicines . i have heard that atenolol can infuse

dry mouth
dizziness or faintness (
cold extremities
hair loss
problems with sexual function
runny/blocked nose
depression and confusion
difficulty sleeping, nightmares
fatigue, weakness or lack of energy

i dont have any of the other problems other than the depression and confusion, but then i was confused even before i started taking that drug.. :-)

anyway the point is i e this some kind of dipression patterns once in a while. i tend to be enjoying loneliness, talk to myself, dream about a lot of painful incidents, like y day i had this strange dream of a baby who was killed and wrapped up in a nice white cotton cloth and was ditched on a sidewalk .. i just walked towards and and looked at the babies dead body . the baby was all filthy looking with its eyes closed and there was no movement in it.. i was so sacred and wanted to cry loud but the baby just opened its eyes and stared staring at me... like as if i am some kind of an enemy and its going to take some revenge on me...

it was really a strange dream... i opened my eyes and was still on the bed breathing heavily.. i dont know what this means.. but i was really scared...

me

2008-11-11T12:18:00.000+05:30

ponnu

2008-10-17T14:31:00.000+05:30

“Who were/are the most important people in your life (other than Amma)? Why?”

2008-10-14T22:44:00.001+05:30

my Sister, my Niece, Sudeep ji, my parents..

my sister is my best friend, my niece is a cute lil girl who brings lot of joy to my life, Sudeep ji is like my elder brother who supports me and helps me in difficult times.. and i love my parents a lot …. and my greatest luck is all of them including me are supported by our AMMA

there are many more in the list. but i dont think its relevent here.

ponnu

2008-10-04T12:07:00.002+05:30

new picture

2008-10-02T17:36:00.000+05:30

on a D 60

Ponmudi

2008-08-18T21:36:00.003+05:30

Inspired

2008-08-02T17:52:00.000+05:30

Its About the Different Thoughts, Mindsets, Nature that we have..

Nandu ( My Niece )

2008-07-20T21:02:00.003+05:30

Divine Light ??

2008-07-11T12:17:00.003+05:30

the " Light " Around the head was a mistake, when i made a layer and darkened it to highlight the person, the halo just showed up :-)

dont think that he is Divine ... hi hi hi

Vagamon

2008-07-10T15:53:00.001+05:30

wallpapers

2008-07-02T20:03:00.005+05:30

Click on the Images to Open it in the orginal size

Mischief

2008-06-26T20:59:00.004+05:30

My Niece Nandana. she was playing with the ball and was trying to "sleep" on it.. she fell down hitting her nose and got this big wound ( abrasion ) . she didn't cry, she was rather happy about the whole thing.. :-)

Kids are always Cute...

look closely

2008-06-24T12:54:00.001+05:30

Have you not found your beautiful flowers, have you not found the honey inside them?

There is some honey in your Almira's....o don't need to get that honey from the flower....

And are you flying...across the cold mountains....is it beautiful...?

Dont you see the tree which has some fruits and shade is there is here, it is full of shade in you chair, cold, and shady, like that tree.....instead of fruits delicious chapattis are down below, instead of fruits above, and tea abundantly flows, from its branches....

Butterfly's are coming every day to your window...do you not see..all those faces...

Oh my dear om, please look closely at your tree,

together again

2008-06-20T13:36:00.005+05:30

It was after 6 years we met..
and straight away went to forest..
i sometimes feel s like that is where i belong to...

i always feels that i am happy in forests than in big cities...

anywas it was nice to be with Arun again, he is working in Dubai Now..
and he is going to be a Dad soon....

people are growing man... yeah they are.... :-)
http://silentyogi.blogspot.com/2008/03/blog-post.html

Nandu

2008-06-16T17:29:00.005+05:30

poems from Sarah !

2008-06-16T14:40:00.004+05:30

Love

Deep deep Energy
In it we are absorbed
We are fulfilled
And complete
We have better contentment
Making us sing and pray
Feeling overjoyed to exist
This is the source of all we want
Pure deep mood which can take
Us to another world beyond
Lets go and swim
Bath in it . you are free

There

There is where our heart is
Where we rest
This heart has a deep ocean of
Flood like bliss
Which can satiate
And quench any thirst
Every cell will drink this water
The mind is relaxed and still
Each cell is peaceful
The waves gets bigger and crash
Leaving our experience and past
We are free at space
Turn in look
There is love
There is everything
The whole creation
Continues with love

The meaning of Love

It begins as a murmur in the heart
To bloom to blossom
It flows like river
It radiates divine light and joy
It is warm
It is thick and
Makes us not feel like speaking
To feel the fulfillment of love
We must be open

Meaning of patience

The soul is going through growth
Like a flower slowly opening
Don’t break open the petals
Let the sun shine
Let the rain fall and nurture the roots
In time it will open and blossom
Until all of life is full and in bloom
With fragrance
For all to enjoy.

Works

2008-05-13T14:04:00.002+05:30

light

2008-05-11T15:40:00.004+05:30

Relations..

2008-05-06T11:09:00.002+05:30

money matters

2008-05-05T16:49:00.002+05:30

Monday, May 5, 2008
Money

i was thinking about making money latley. it may sound crazy why should a person like me make a lot of money. One thing. i dont have much ambitions or aims in life.. for me to have good life is to get food 3 times a day and have a decent place to sleep.

I have these two things.. an di am pretty happy about that... but then why am i thinking about making money..

i thought about making money by designing websites.. but i never did business in my life. even if i did a few small ones. they all turned out of be failures.. so am sacred of doing any..

these are my thoughts of the moment :)

its been sometime

2008-04-17T11:51:00.002+05:30

I am here.. sitting in this chair...
thinking about what to do next....

i am feeling really sad, donno why.

I sometimes feels like i hate this whole thing called life.. i know most of the people does hate to be alive, but we dont have any other option than just live,, here in middle of all this confusion, hatred, fights, happiness, love,,, and what else,...

this world is a very dangerous place to live . coz we have to live in the edges... anytime we can fall ..

Human beings are crazy

2008-04-07T22:16:00.001+05:30

why cant they just refrain from sex..
why do they kill these innocents after giving Life to them
these Human beings are crazy.

In India from ancient days Sex was meant for creating good healthy children, ( mentally and physically ) in west it was always for Fun or Enjoyment or what ever, it was never for Children. that is why in west there is so many abortions...

India is catching up now... and its sad..

Love you

2008-04-05T13:31:00.001+05:30

Nobody Loves You When you`re Down and Alone......

.....

good bye

2008-04-02T11:57:00.004+05:30

This is a funny song.. i dont know why, i liked it ..

Down the memory Lane !!

2008-03-29T14:38:00.016+05:30

i was 1.5 years OLD.

My Only Nude Picture.. :-)

started loving vehicles Long back....

about to cry ?? and i still cry sometimes...

with my cousin brother..

1985 it was a good picture but i faded the other members of my family.. Photoshopped

1992. my friend Viju

1995

Somewhere in some forest searching for Birds...

1996 i wanted to become a spiritual guy.. at least in dress

1998 after Office hours ??

1998 - 99

1999. my self and one of my friend went to a place called thiruchendur ( some 200 Km from my home ) in this Motorbike. that bike was my companion for many years.. its still there in my house.. i ve traveled to many places alone in it. it was always fun to travel alone. now a days i dont do it.

2001..

2001. I used to stay in forests. once in a while this is a place called chendurny... in Kerala, we stayed in the forest for 4 days..

the same place..

2005 trying to play organ

2006 with my friend viknesh

:: click on the images to open it in the original size

i am Inspired

2008-03-28T10:37:00.003+05:30

It was nice talking to you. Do you know one thing, you always Inspires me to do good things...

I have become really calm because i let go all the confusions and the pain i Had in my heart for such a long time, its like waking up from a bad dream.

I read few books recently, " i am not scared " by Niccolò Ammaniti and " Into the Wild " by Jon Krakauer and " this Very body the Buddha " by Osho

I Liked " Into the wild "a Lot its a real life story of Christopher Johnson McCandless ( Christopher Johnson McCandless (12 February 1968 – 18 August 1992) was an American wanderer who died near Denali National Park after hiking alone into the Alaskan wilderness with little food or equipment. )

He ran away from Home to Live in the Wild, ( that is exactly what i want to do ) and on the way he meets many interesting people.. its a beautiful story...

and in the end in the wild he changes his views about this world,

"Death's a fierce meadowlark but to die having made Something more equal to centuries Than muscle and bone, is mostly to shed weakness. The mountains are dead stone, the people Admire or hate their stature, their insolent quietness, The mountains are not softened or troubled And a few dead men's thoughts have the same temper."

he writes
"I HAVE HAD A HAPPY LIFE AND THANK THE LORD. GOODBYE AND MAY GOD BLESS ALL!"

and he dies peacefully...

after reading it... I am inspired too... to go to the wilderness. feels like that is my Home, that is where i should die..... starving to death.... in the Lap of mother earth.. in the wild,,,

but I dont have that courage.. I am too old to think about dying.. I am too old to hike.......

You were always a wonderful friend. and you will remain one, I know we will never ever meet again, look at each others Eyes......or talk or make paintings or travel.
I dont want to Cling to the past and the memory and the Nostalgia of it. that is sacrilegious, that is insulting to Love, the Lover is good , but the lover is good because of Love. You need not sacrifice Love for the Lover, Lovers come and go, Love remains. ( its from Osho )

You have shown me that Love is far More beautiful because it disappears...
I am Impressed. and i am Inspired..

i WAS readin !!

2008-03-24T16:05:00.000+05:30

I dont know how many mails i had send you, Yesterday i was thinking in our short life time how many words i had told you, how many different subjects we talked about, how many times we were in pain, and how many moments we were really happy.

past 4 days i was reading reading reading.. almost the whole time i was awake and then i eat and slept.. My mind my thought , everything changed ... I feel like exhausted . I feels like i am not the person who I know... I feels like i am different...

The pain had leaft me and it is like a strange feeling with out that pain, it was there with me for past 6 or so months and when it suddenly went away, i feel like being alone again, now i know that that pain was so dear to me. i was enjoying that pain..

The people around me are different, everything seems different...I know nothing changed except my Mind... One night i sat out side and looked at the rain.. for hours... i was just sitting there .. looking at each drops... its just a tiny drop but its so beautiful. i saw your face... i saw those teardrops... coming out of your eyes.. its so beautiful..

Why does people cry.. people cry always... for different reason... You are the one who cried a lot.. with me... do you still cry.... ?...

I sometimes misses those tears.. your smile...

Now i am reading a Book called " atonement " by Ian McEwan. its a beautiful story of two lovers... the girl from a big family and the boy the son of this girls servant. and they actually hated each other because of their love towards each other... but then he sends a letter to her through her sister ( he had written two letters.. one an erotic one he writes for fun and one the descent one ) but he unknowingly gives the erotic version to the girls sister to be given to this girl and this girls sister secretly reads it and thinks he is a sex maniac.. but this girl even though reads the erotic version falls in Love with this boy......

but then some thing happens and this boy is send to jail.. and when police arrests him this girl goes to him and tell him to come back to her.. she will be waiting for HIm......

i am yet to read the rest.. but i know.. that they will never be together and both of them dies in two separate accidents.. it was only few weeks they were together.. but they always loved each other for rest of their lives..

it is one of the most beautiful Love stories i have read..

Millions of people have loved in this world... from the very beginning there was love.. think about it.. all of us had many no of " affairs " Physically, mentally ... and each one of us have this feeling of loving someone else or being in love with some one else and then there is this upside way of loving, gays and lesbians.. and then there are people who has " affairs " with Animals.. this Human beings are Funny...

Then there are People who goes out of all this Crap and decides to Love them selves... and we call them realized Souls... and for that they do all the funny stuffs like Standing on head go into caves, eat roots and leaves , chanting mantra.. ! millions times... and few of them remains the same, remains at the place where they started all these,..

but the most Interesting this i had ever heard was from a girl in the story " my summer of Love "
there is this two characters

Tamsin: "So what are you gonna do with your life?"
Mona: "I'm gonna be a lawyer...I'm gonna get a job in an abattoir, work really hard, get a boyfriend who's like — a bastard, and churn out all these kids right, with mental problems and then...I'm gonna wait for menopause,...or cancer."

and that is where we reach reality.. she fantasies about the reality..

and that statement is down to earth, near the real life....

Boats and Sea

2008-03-21T14:40:00.000+05:30

bring in the light

2008-03-16T09:08:00.000+05:30

If the room is dark, the constant feeling and repeating of darkness will not take it away, but bring in the light. Let us know that all that is negative, all that is destructive, all that is mere criticism, is bound to pass away; it is the positive, the affirmative, the constructive, that is immortal, that will remain for ever. Let us say, " We are" and "God is", and "We are God","Shivoham Shivoham", and march on. Not matter, but spirit. All that has name and form is subject to that has none. This is the eternal truth the shrutis preach. Bring in the light; the darkness will vanish of itself. Let the lion of vedanta roar; the foxes will fly to their holes. Throw the ideas broadcast, and let the result take care of itself. Let us put the chemicals together; the crystallisation will take its own course. Bring forth the power of the spirit, and pour it over the length and breadth of India, all that is necessary will come by itself.
Manifest the divinity within you, and everything will be harmoniously arranged around it. Remember the illustration of Indira and Virochana in the vedas; both were taught their divinity. But the Asura, Virochana, took his body for his God. Indira being a Deva, understood that the Atman was present. You are the children of Indra. You are the descendants of the Devas. Matter can never be your God; body can never be your God.

- This is a passage from Vivekananda's Lecture by Charles Goodwin(author).

i want to be a raindrop !!

2008-02-20T21:31:00.000+05:30

i want to be a raindrop !!

coz..

the raindrop is the most amazing thing i have ever seen...

its just falls from the sky ...
to embrace the mother earth...
it dances all the way to the ground....
once it touches the ground...
it jumps up in joy.......
and then ....
disappears......

It Dies....

So happily.....
So bliss fully......

I want to be a rain drop....

winter song on a rainy night

2008-02-12T22:43:00.000+05:30

its raining here

2008-02-12T21:49:00.000+05:30

its after many days. from morning the sky was dark and the environs was cold and windy.

now its raining heavily out side, and i am watching and listening to the rain it so beautiful so lovely each rain drop falls into the ground with so much of love and it jumps up once and then disappears... it dies so happily.

it cools downs our mind our thoughts. and it reminds me of my friend. she is like this rain so much of love..

people

2008-01-29T11:30:00.001+05:30

man, machine and his dreams

2008-01-26T21:46:00.001+05:30

yellow

2008-01-26T21:37:00.000+05:30

Server Error

2008-01-24T08:41:00.000+05:30

Server Error in '/V45454' Application.
An error occurred while processing the log for database 'J:\54545\APP_DATA\ASPNETDB.MDF'. If possible, restore from backup. If a backup is not available, it might be necessary to rebuild the log.
An error occurred during recovery, preventing the database 'J:\VAASTAV\APP_DATA\ASPNETDB.MDF' (database ID 5) from restarting. Diagnose the recovery errors and fix them, or restore from a known good backup. If errors are not corrected or expected, contact Technical Support.
Cannot open user default database. Login failed.
Login failed for user 'NT AUTHORITY\NETWORK SERVICE'.
Description: An unhandled exception occurred during the execution of the current web request. Please review the stack trace for more information about the error and where it originated in the code.

movies

2008-01-23T18:03:00.000+05:30

crash 10 things i hate about you predator the bone collector spy game rambo 1.2.3 babel matrix 1 2 3 ferry beulliers day out little manhattan the deer hunter the red eye mr and mrs smith anger management wedding crashers jaws 1. 3 anaconda behind enemy lines war of the worlds xxx transporter fast and furious too fast too furious good will hunting the thin red line speed next march of the penguin oceans 11 oceans 12 the bourne identity the bourne supermecy the bourne ultimatum next lord of the rings 123 rocky balboa die hard 1234 ice age 1 2 room 1408 2 days in paris a beautiful mind the panic room apocalypto chocolate brave heart hearts war the sixth sense village signs 6th day amelie the animal around the world in 80 days atlantis the lost empire be dazzled black hawk down brother bear john tucker must die pearl harbor bugs life final fantasy monsters inc saving private ryan predator vs alien alien 1 red line	unbreakable lady in the water forest gump jurassic park 1 2 3 shrek 123 charlies angels grudge 2 commando crouching tiger hidden dragon da vinci code dantes peak day after tomorrow basic instinct die another day panic room dracula 2000 dracula legacy ET eraser evil dead 123 scary movie 12 exorcist g i joe gladiator dragon fly the water world green river killer happy feet crazy beautiful silence of the lambs home alone 1 2 3 4 hell boy hulk i robot independance day hollow man kiss of the dragon madagascar minority report pirates of the carribean 1 2 rain man rush hour 1 2 saw 111 shooter spiderman 1 2 x men 1 2 3 the princess bride the wild flight of the pheonix shakespear in love deja vu shindlers list broken arrow serindipity october sky enemy at the gates touching the void jumanji twister terminator 123 men in black 1 2 indiana jones 123 cats and dogs blue streak who am i	the pacifier the patriot the perfect storm planet of the apes species the tuxedo the myth the one what lies beneth what women wnt ace ventura anastesia apollo 13 armegeddon assasins babies day out baracka beauty and the beast casper con air congo deep blue sea demolition man double impact face off gone in 60 seconds ghost little mermaid mask pocahontas prince of egypt robin hood prince of theives scream sleepy hollow tarzan titanic true lies volcano the world is not enough raiders of the lost ark indian jones and the last crusade Indiana jones temple of doom platoon the abyss gandhi the gods must be crazy inferno just my luck lara croft tomb rider 1 2 love actually march of the penguin mission impossible 1 2 mission to mars the mummy returns harry potter bend it like bechkam cliff hanger

cleaning day !!

2008-01-20T19:54:00.001+05:30

Cleaning my Table was the work of the day

my dream

2008-01-19T15:10:00.001+05:30

i ve been dreaming this child from my childhood... I always knew that there is someone somewhere who wants to reach out to me.. to meet me and to be with me... i too have that feeling to be with this person...

yesterday i had this dream of a beautiful baby, who was sitting near a tree and i went near her and tried to smile at her, she was a bit serious and looking at me with tear filled eyes. i tried to go near her and reach out to her foot and started tickling it.. she suddenly burst into a beautiful laugh. i moved really close to her and she suddenly hugged me. so tight.... my heart started beating very fast, it was filled with lot of love and i thought my heart will burst with the sudden over pouring of love and then i opened my eyes , i was breathing heavily...

since then i have a strange feeling in my heart.. i donno what it is... but its good.....

i feel like i will meet this baby one day..... may be one day... !!

nandana

2008-01-14T12:18:00.000+05:30

2008-01-12T13:20:00.000+05:30

#This file describes the network interfaces available on your system
#and how to activate them. For more information, see interfaces(5).
#The loopback network interface
auto lo

iface lo inet loopback

#The primary network interface
auto eth0
iface eth0 inet static
address 192.168.1.15
      netmask 255.255.255.0
      network 192.168.1.0
      broadcast 192.168.1.255
      gateway 192.168.1.1


127.0.0.1 localhost
192.168.1.15 myhostname.home.net myhostname
#The following lines are desirable for IPv6 capable hosts
::1     ip6-localhost ip6-loopback
fe00::0 ip6-localnet
ff00::0 ip6-mcastprefix
ff02::1 ip6-allnodes
ff02::2 ip6-allrouters
ff02::3 ip6-allhosts

max_execution_time = 300
memory_limit = 32M
upload_max_filesize = 6M
extension=mysql.so
extension=mysqli.so

News

2008-01-12T11:31:00.000+05:30

Like news paper

we get good informations/knowledge and throw / burn / wrap the garbage.. sometimes we do the same thing with the people and the people do that to us....

a tear drop fell into my heart

2008-01-08T11:35:00.001+05:30

a tear drop fell into my heart,
i dont know whether it will drown me
wish it could..

always see two eyes
looking at me with hope
but i know
even i am hopeless

i hear whispers
even during my sleep
the memories of those beautiful moments
when i shared my heart

i don't want to look back and sigh
at the moments which have gone...
to the eternity of time...
time heals all wounds

may be one day i will find
my soul...
my self...
the light...

that day i will
come back ..
give my life to
the person who " needs " it...

till then i have to be alone
in silence.......

Hope there will be a space.. between my soul and my self..........
A space filled with lot of Love ............

Memories

2008-01-01T10:59:00.001+05:30

I traveled through another year, ie. 2007.

it was a really tough year for me, I learned a few lessons in life, Grew more grey hair,

I spend most of this year mentally in pain, some days i couldn't even move my body. I went through some experiences which changed my whole life.. I learned a lot about More people, the sufferings that they go through.

My greatest desire was to travel all around the world taking photographs. but this year i lost interest in traveling. taking pictures is still in my agenda.

I met a person who is as crazy as i am. i never thought i will ever find a person who is almost similar to my thoughts and my life...

I visited Akshardham temple, Silent valley . I wanted to visit these places for a very long time and it happend this year.

I changed my office twice.

I talked to my parents after some years...

I learned that getting older is not an easy thing.....

I am trying to travel through 2008 hoping for better days, with little fear about the future ...

2008

2008-01-01T10:38:00.001+05:30

"Love is the only religion that can help humanity to rise to great and glorious heights." —Amma

HAPPY NEW YEAR

A poem

2007-12-27T08:56:00.000+05:30

SO MUCH HAPPINESS
by Naomi Shihab Nye

It is difficult to know what to do with so much happiness.
With sadness there is something to rub against,
a wound to tend with lotion and cloth.
When the world falls in around you, you have pieces to pick up,
something to hold in your hands, like ticket stubs or change.

But happiness floats.
It doesn't need you to hold it down.
It doesn't need anything.
Happiness lands on the roof of the next house, singing,
and disappears when it wants to.
You are happy either way.
Even the fact that you once lived in a peaceful tree house
and now live over a quarry of noise and dust
cannot make you unhappy.
Everything has a life of its own,
it too could wake up filled with possibilities
of coffee cake and ripe peaches,
and love even the floor which needs to be swept,
the soiled linens and scratched records...

Since there is no place large enough
to contain so much happiness,
you shrug, you raise your hands, and it flows out of you
into everything you touch. You are not responsible.
You take no credit, as the night sky takes no credit
for the moon, but continues to hold it, and share it,
and in that way, be known.

pictures

2007-12-16T10:01:00.000+05:30

morning

2007-11-28T08:54:00.002+05:30

Morning 6 am. Sun and Moon in two different moods.... looking at each other..... :)

a conversation

2007-11-21T09:30:00.001+05:30

aumsree : The very existance of life is sheer events of endless battles,
Some are man-made, a few are natural, and the rest do matter...

silentyogi : Everything comes to an End. if it starts then it eventually ends.. even the whole universe. only the time span differs
Only God can create, man just witnesses or thinks he is enjoying

Life is not a battle its full of wonder and happiness and surprises, if you think otherwise you are not a living thing
Life is an awakening to ones self..

if you think Life is a battle then you don't see the sunrises, you don't see the jasmine flowers dancing in the rain, you don't feel the coolness of the breeze, you don't see the chirping birds, you don't see the waves of the Sea, you don't see butterflies, you Don't see the Clouds drifting across the vast Blue sky. You don't see the twinkling stars. you don't see the tiny drop of water resting in the tip of the grass blade. Look at them.. they are full.... full of happiness....... Look around at this world.. can you see anything other than happiness and celebrations.... the whole universe is in a constant Dance, a constant celebration. the cosmic dance of Lord Shiva......

NO. life is not a battle.. its something which is to be celebrated......

ponnu

2007-11-18T19:45:00.001+05:30

my sister her husband and their daughter

yummy

2007-11-17T19:31:00.000+05:30

Fried banana ( "pazham pori" in malayalam )
really really tasty

flying alone

2007-11-15T11:17:00.000+05:30

I am flying ..........

above the dark cold clouds
over the snowy mountains
the dark secluded valleys...
the roads that never ends

million thoughts Buzz in my brain
keep me apart from my self
i cant stop flying
searching for the flowers

this is why i was born
to search beautiful flowers...........
will i ever find
the most beautiful flowers..

long ago some one pushed me out
i cried and cried..
no one came to pick me up
i was lost in the street

now i am here in the blue sky
flying alone
the wind takes me to places
to lakes and beautiful forests...

let me rest in that tree for a while
eat those fresh fruits and leaves
the tree offers itself to me
its tender leaves and sweetest fruits

and then wait .....
searching with my minds eye...
for the butterfly..
who promised to come......

till then am flying alone ....................

DOG

2007-11-12T20:46:00.001+05:30

who can save you ?

2007-11-11T19:20:00.000+05:30

You are the cause of your ruin or rise. The tools are in your hands; you can learn the skills; you can break the shackles and escape; but if you grovel in slavery and bondage, who can save you? Do not blame fate.

The mind is sometimes characterized as a snake. This is because it doesn't move straight. It delights in crooked stratagems and clever contrivances. It avoids the straight path of sincerity and veracity. But, the snake mind can be charmed into innocence. When the snake charmer plays on his instrument, the snake sways its hood entranced; so, too the mind will sway with the music that emanates from the recitation of the Name of God!

hopper

2007-11-11T11:20:00.000+05:30

Deepavali

2007-11-09T12:28:00.001+05:30

Happy Deepavali to all

LOVE

2007-11-05T08:57:00.000+05:30

"May our hearts be united in love and joy, and make life an everlasting festival." —Amma

i cant agree

2007-11-04T20:01:00.000+05:30

my hair wet and feeling the crisp air on my cheek. I am happy and glad that there is something so wonderful and selfless out there. But if I know that nature is so wonderful and gives itself selflessly to me, then why am I still lonely and unhappy at times? This is because I am human. Humans, no doubtly, are flawed. Ever since birth we've been greedy and selfish, whether it's for more milk or attention, etc. Greed and selfishness is just in our nature. Human nature. This is a shame and too bad, but we cannot control thiscompletely.

We cannot do everything out of selflessness and there's nothing wrong with that. We need to look out and protect ourselves and our loved ones. As for the love of fellow beings, many of us do not love each other. That is why we have so many wars and disputes. Many mothers and fathers do not even love their children and that is why we have so many abandoned and orphaned children. We humans have made the world ugly. I cannot answer your question completely, because in order to make a comment about "nature's love is the greatest" I would have to believe that mother nature gives us the wonders of nature as a choice and that we do not have nature's gifts just from coicidence in the universe. As I've written, I do not agree on that sentiment.

an old post

2007-11-03T12:55:00.000+05:30

I don’t know who that girl is. The girl who came in my dream today morning. I don’t know how can I explain. That feeling. That strong feeling that builds inside our heart, and try to burst out like a strong raging wave. It feels like some one somewhere who is very close, just near my heart is reaching out to me. She needs my help. But I am not able to recognize who she is and even if I recognize her I a not able to help because I am already n lot of troubles, who is she.

But there is some invisible connection. What is that. I don’t know I am confused. Its really a strange world out side and inside.

Those filled eyes will haunt me for days I know it. But I am helpless, what to do I am a prisoner of my mind. I saw that love and helplessness of a young teenager.

25 /4/ 2001

an old mail

2007-11-03T11:49:00.000+05:30

Many thanks for your kind words.

It really makes me happy to know and feel that someone cares, even
when they don't know me on -------------------->a physical plane.

You're right.One needs to just take a moment out of the chaos and spinning hatred of the
world and just breathe...notice the subtle,savour the beauty of the pure,
of nature.

Afterall, are we not part of this planet...no matter how destructive we are?
I hope I make sense...
My blog...it's nothing at all.
Just nonsensical ramblings when I'm feeling emotional...and when it's not that, it's just a superficial diary for the occurancesof the day.Petty human I am.

I believe it's best not to judge people so much.I try not to judge people so much because there is so much more to them.Does it make me a colossal hypocrite to judge myself so much?
Afterall, I am a human being.

What is truth to you?

Take care and Breathe Life
Write back, when/if you see fit.

8/6/2001

meet you there...

2007-11-02T15:53:00.000+05:30

meet u there in deep bliss
one day when time stands still
the breath stops
the mind beholds the whole universe as one
there we will meet

meet you in temples
in the breath inside the breath
in the eyes of all gods and children
in the vegetables
in the downpour of rain
in the stillness of the night...

in the wings of the butterfly
in the beauty of the rainbow
radiance of ammas love
everyday where the birds r singing
and the tulsi grows
i will meet you there

----------------------------------------

one of my friend wrote this and send to me as sms
we are not able to see each other so the longing turned into a poem...

database !!

2007-10-30T14:31:00.001+05:30

Last login: Mon Oct 22 22:00:03 2007 from ns.******.ac.in

Welcome to the MySQL monitor. Commands end with ; or \g.
Your MySQL connection id is 186***** to server version: 4.1.19-standard

Type 'help;' or '\h' for help. Type '\c' to clear the buffer.

mysql> use **************
ERROR 1044 (42000): Access denied for user ''@'localhost' to database '**************'
mysql> show **************

+----------+
| Database |
+----------+
|************** |
+----------+
1 row in set (0.02 sec)

mysql> use **************
ERROR 1044 (42000): Access denied for user ''@'localhost' to database '**************'
mysql> show tables
-> ;
ERROR 1046 (3D000): No database selected
mysql> use **************
ERROR 1044 (42000): Access denied for user ''@'localhost' to database '**************'
mysql> exit
Bye

wasp

2007-10-26T09:34:00.001+05:30

silence

2007-10-25T11:56:00.001+05:30

I read ...

Tao is silent, but that silence is not the silence of a cemetery. It is the silence of a garden where trees are alive, Breathing, and yet there is utter silence, it is not a dead silence, it is an alive silence.

and this is what i think....

In silence we find ourselves, the past one week i was thinking and figuring out my Life. The confusion i had, changed into some kind of wisdom.

I read ...

All esoteric teachings and all hidden teachings and all those so called mysteries are just mumbo Jumbo. the mystery is here. the mystery is in the trees and in the rocks and in the birds. the mystery is in people - in you, in me.

and this is what i think....

Everything is perfect. Our relationship is perfect. there is nothing Wrong. what ever we experience is perfect and its true. in the future we just need to forget each other and Live our lives as it comes. WE HAVE TO FORGET EACH OTHER. there is no other option.

Relations

2007-10-10T11:25:00.000+05:30

post deleted

Live

2007-10-07T13:11:00.000+05:30

Two More from morning

Life in Closeup

2007-10-07T13:08:00.001+05:30

Two beauties.....

Ant

2007-10-07T12:41:00.001+05:30

Morning was so Boring.. took camera and went out.. found this beautiful ANT

Happy Birthday Amma

2007-09-25T13:37:00.001+05:30

To my sweet Mother..................... with tons of Love
September 27 th 2007

more ::

its sad

2007-09-21T10:20:00.000+05:30

its sad when you loose someone, when someone really cared about you goes away, and we know that we will never be able to see each other or talk to each other. yet we cant do anything, being helpless, feeling depressed, alone. sad... for rest of your life...

Life is really hard. ........... its hard...

faces

2007-09-13T13:38:00.001+05:30

macro again !!

2007-09-13T11:03:00.000+05:30

yesterday night at 3 am

macro guy

2007-09-09T11:10:00.001+05:30

interesting guy i found recently..

Sri Krishna

2007-09-07T10:33:00.000+05:30

In Amma's satsang, she spoke of the glory and importance of Sri Krishna's life and teachings. "Krishna is said to be the completeness of beauty itself," Amma said. "But that beauty is not just the beauty of an individual; it's the compounded beauty of the entire universe."

"Lord Krishna's birth itself took place in the most difficult of circumstances—in a jail cell. All the demonic forces tried everything they could to prevent Sri Krishna's birth from taking place. But who could obstruct the glory of the Lord? It was due to the unwavering faith of Vasudeva and Devaki that the Lord took birth as their son. This teaches us that no matter how adverse our circumstance may seem, if we persist with absolute faith, we will be able to overcome them and attain the Lord."

Amma also glorified the devotion of the gopis, saying how it is their love for Krishna that is remembered over anyone else's, even though they were with Krishna for a relatively short amount of time. To illustrate this point, Amma told a story wherein the gopis were able to remember the precise details of every single interaction they had ever had with Krishna, no matter how long before it had transpired.

new pictures

2007-09-06T21:03:00.000+05:30

taken on a Nikon D40 x

home

2007-09-06T15:36:00.001+05:30

Amritapuri Ashram, My home

bamboo

2007-08-30T12:21:00.000+05:30

i am fascinated by the game that light plays in our lifes....

look

2007-08-30T11:24:00.000+05:30

rebecca menashe

light

2007-08-29T22:28:00.001+05:30

ponnu

2007-08-25T13:08:00.000+05:30

my niece nandana, my sister took this picture

theyyam

2007-08-22T18:22:00.001+05:30

a Powerful dance form of kerala

good old days

2007-08-20T12:27:00.000+05:30

the year is 2002

light

2007-08-19T16:57:00.001+05:30

world photography day !!

heart can be broken, but it still beats the same

2007-08-13T11:58:00.000+05:30

I read this yesterday, and was thinking whether its true, in this life we go through a lot of experience some pleasant, some emotional, some hard to accept . and we go along with our life even if its hard to live, we still stick to certain things which we think is great, and try to convince ourselves that we are happy and content and in truth we are not. we are not happy with our lives here in earth, what ever we get .. we get bored soon, it happens with people and with things we have. and with the things we acquire along with this path.

Heart never beats the same, once we go through certain experiences, strong emotional ones. It changes ourselves. It changes our thoughts, it even changes our faces... and our personality. if you look into a renunciate s eyes you know that he/she has dedicated his life for the world and you look at a criminal, his whole body says that he has done many wrong things , terrible things..

If your heart is broken onces it will never beat the same, because the process changes you.

faces

2007-08-06T14:21:00.001+05:30

girls

2007-08-03T13:32:00.001+05:30

be in Her presence

2007-08-02T18:25:00.000+05:30

To be in Her presence is to experience the best that life has to offer...

a river of unconditional love, accepting anyone and everyone, and cleansing all their impurities.
Luminous rays of grace, radiating wisdom and joy... like the earth bearing us on her bosom.
By her love, consoling us, nourishing us, instilling faith in us...

in whose presence, the innocence of a child awakens within... the world becomes a wonder.
Such this and more is Mata Amritanandamayi Devi, Amma, Mother of Immortal Bliss.

girl and old lady

2007-07-30T21:03:00.001+05:30

so sing the Rishis

2007-07-22T11:33:00.000+05:30

Oh brahmin, of what use are the riches and relations to
the dying man? Of what use is even his wife to him ?

vedanta : "end of the vedas " One of the six systems of hindu Philosophy, evolved from the Upanishads, the end portion of the vedas. As the word veda means "knowledge", vedanta can also denote "the end of " Knowledge " or the " most profound knowledge " Vedanta teaches that the purpose of mans life is to realize Supreme reality.

buildings, flowers and monitors

2007-07-21T11:56:00.001+05:30

pond, grass and cow

2007-07-21T11:42:00.001+05:30

sleep and death

2007-07-20T11:55:00.001+05:30

some one asked why people say that sleep is a short death. is there really any similarity between these two. then he said actually there is a small difference

when we sleep and when we open our eyes next day or after some time everything remains the same, we remains we our thoughts our environs dont change

but in death we close our eyes and when we open it next time the whole thing is changed the body , the mind , our environs, our mother father... everything..... and we wonder what the heck.....

people man, people

2007-07-20T00:13:00.000+05:30

post deleted !! by silent yogi

me me me ...

2007-07-19T00:07:00.000+05:30

i was going through some bad time of my life, for the past few weeks and now after two days i am feeling ok.

after these experiences in life i have found these things about my self

1. i am so shaky. my mood changes from sadness to happiest in matter of few seconds. and i am desperate at times for help

2. i tend to depend on others for help and this is not a sure sign of courage

3. if i work too much i go crazy then i don't know what all i do

4. i still have this soft feelings for certain things ..

5. i am crazy at times

6. i fall prey to emotions

7. i have this strong tendency to travel alone

8. i imagine things which are not true and believes they are true.

9. i tend to betray my work for silly things like watching a movie or so.

10. i think i need love from others even if i know deep inside that all people are selfish ( including me )

11. i see a lot of dreams

12. i need treatment

the good things i noticed

1. i know i have all these problems

three pictures

2007-07-15T19:38:00.001+05:30

tear drop

2007-07-15T16:57:00.000+05:30

it comes from nowhere
fills those beautiful eyes
stays there for a while
making it bigger and brighter

i want to hold those teardrops in my hand
keep it safe in my heart
those precious pearls
don't let it fall

dont look at me

2007-07-13T20:58:00.000+05:30

dont look at me

i am not here
if my eyes meet yours
if by chance u see behind all the pain

if by chance u see
inside my heart
you will have to
pretend nothing happened
u must
keep silence look down and away i am not here as i said